1.6.08

A Brief Recapitulation Of The Dramatic Events

It's a week later. We're all back in Ontario intact now. Thanks for everyone's help and concern. Sorry to have been away from computers while everyone was stressing about it but my mind was blown and I think that goes for all of us. I'm just starting to get back to everyone one at a time. 

It's like a sudden death that you can't wrap your head around, it hits you from a different angle every few hours, just as your mind is wandering from it you're aware again that it's still that day, that week, it's still happening. Anger, grief, frustration, suspicion, paranoia, futility, in that exact order. And repeat. It's been like that since that morning. 

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Mulheim Germany, the last, very fucking last morning of tour. And finally a good real squat show, where the promoter (Jan) and everybody from the place was nothing but great to us. Sleeping in a room on the 2nd floor of a locked building, on a compound that nobody lives on, Tomas is outside in the van, the 4 of us and Sam are set up in the band room. There are a lot of little details that keep going through my mind, like the cheesy votive candle I lit in the room. I am the last one to sleep, I'm washing some socks and underwear in the bathroom sink, having had no clean (or even dirty but dry) clothes for a good week, hoping they can dry by morning, which is only a few hours off. I take a bath in a gnarly bathtub, it is late and no one there to care, and it seems like a good enough way to wait for the ringing in my ears to subside enough to sleep. I wring out the wet clothes, go back in the room and hang them up on a bunk bed by the light of the candle that is still burning, blow it out. No trace of a bad vibe. Remember thinking how nice it is that no one is snoring. Fall asleep. Next thing is voices shouting, morning light, and the whole thing. Sam's bag missing, him asking if we're pranking him. Christian's bag also missing. Found outside the window, tossed and pissed in with selective items missing. Sam's bag, having contained all the tour's money, in cash, and several passports, not found. The formality of German cops, joking to Jan and the squat kids (there again getting breakfast ready) - "What do you want me to do, take DNA samples?" . I get it, it doesn't matter. It's a formality, it's already over my the time we know it has happened. Car ride. Brooding. Tension. Cursing. Questions racing through my head, such as who the fuck would go to all that trouble and then hang out tossing a bag right outside the building when they may have just woken us up? If they had to break a lock or force the door it would have made enough noise that one of us upstairs or Tomas (in the van just feet away) would have heard it. With no signs of tampering to the lock or door, how could anyone without a key have been in there? Was it before or after I went to bed? Et cetera. The list goes on but none of it is tangible, nothing you can point at except that it has happened and that everything is suddenly over. We get to Arnhem, to Reflections. Johan and Suzanne are being amazing about it, pragmatic even in the moment's chaos. We had decided on the spot that that was it. The fact that we still had to play that night was secondary. There are a lot more details, I'll save it for round two. End result is, someone did it, and got away with it. And the hole it left us in happened to be the last straw. If it had been a few years and a few hundred shows ago it might work otherwise, but for our reasons, we are taking the hint and deciding to trust the reaper on this one. If there's any news or plans that come up, we'll make them formal. But for now, we all need some time and space. 

There's been overwhelming support from all of you. It's encouraging, it's genuine, it's incredible, and at the same time equally maddening that all their sincerity and good wishes are compensation for the one motherfucker that killed it. It's hard to let that part go. Sorry to anyone that wrote in the past 10 days and didn't hear back. In the wake of it all, I wasn't anywhere near a computer and am just now getting to it all, trying to get to everyone one by one. 

Important - If you are involved with any donations or benefit shows, anywhere, please contact us directly about it so that we can direct any money raised in the right directions firsthand - no middlemen and no grey area. The possibility that anyone might take further advantage of the situation and doing bogus benefits, would blow my mind even further. For the record again, the cursed myspace page isn't related to us. If you or someone you know does it, please just put something up there saying that or better yet, quoting this. There are paypal donations via the Burning Love and Goodfellow sites. And thanks to everyone here in Toronto that got last week's benefit show together in lightning speed. Same for Willem & Co. and anyone else in Amsterdam doing the same. If you're anyone else taking the initiative, as a lot of people out there have, it's very much appreciated. Please get in touch so we can make it official. 

As for Cursed. This spring's shows were awesome. We got to play the shit out of Southern Ontario, all the places we cut our teeth on. All the basements, record stores, halls and clubs in our own stomping grounds, and all the awesome and energetic kids and bands in our own backyard. Don't let up. 

It was a high note to go out on.  Of course it would have been ideal to know it was coming. Or would it?  

There's a lot more to be said, it's still getting resolved, so stay tuned. I have a huge ton of photographs from the whole tour I'm gonna try and upload them somewhere online and make links here. Also, our friend Karol made a video to The Void that is fucking awesome and I'm gonna upload it here in the next few days. So keep posted. And hey - I know its inevitable but please try to discourage the internet rumor mill. I don't care to hear theories, they won't be anything that hasn't already been doing circles in my head, but I hear it's getting a little out of hand. Unless you were in that room, this here is the best information you're gonna get, and (like us) the most anyone can do is speculate. It's a big fat fucking question mark. But again, thanks everybody. 

19 comments:

Mark Rennie said...

This all really sucks dudes.

But I totally understand.

We saw you in glasgow scotland which just so happens to be the same place that my own band got robbed of a guitar and a bass (me being the guitarist, felt a punishing personal blow). We still dont kinwo what happened to our stuff or if we made friends with people who may have stole stuff or whatever. Its a really shitty situation to be in.

Just thought I'd shed a thought to let you know theres plenty of people i'm sure that have been in your situation and unfortunately, we totally understand.

:( sad to see it end like this though!

Anonymous said...

The fundraiser was bittersweet, it was comforting to know that people could get together in two days and bring this kind of support on a tuesday night let alone.
There was really good music and art, all influenced one way or another by this band. James from Titan with a broken rib and leering towards pnemonia still came out to play. Kopko who is days away from leaving the city gave it his all and put together such a great event. All the bands. I havnt touched a paintbrush in months but for some reason had all the energy to paint the night before for the art auction.

Even if you don't do any more shows, you still inspire a shit load of kids and we thank you for that.

TR said...

All I can really do is say "thank you" for being one of my favorite bands. It's distressing to think I probably won't see you play ever again. So, thanks for the music. I'm truly sorry about what happened.

xvanx said...

uhh this makes me so mad.
obviously not that important, but missing the last MTL show is making me even more pissed off. I was waiting for you guys to announce the canadian tour before i booked my trip out of QC but i couldn't wait anymore and i had to book my tickets. of course you announced the tour not too long after that haha.
Anyways, I wish you guys the best of luck with whatevers next & i cant wait to see the pictures from the tour

in-your-arms11 said...

chris colohan will you take me out on a date?

Michael said...

My heart sunk to hear of your horrible predicament in Europe. It seems like you have always had the most obsticles when it came to touring, than any other band on the road, but still stuck together.
I remember seeing you in Philly after Radwan was arrested in Tennessee and your all your merchandise was lost or stolen. But you guys still played a fuckin kick ass set. And then Chris smashed his guitar on stage haha.
I was really hoping to see you play another tour in the U.S. dispite troubles in the past with the U.S. boarder services. The new album was incredible and it would have been awesome to have you guys come back around again and belt out some of the new album.
But I am sadden to hear of your disbanding. A frustrating end to an amazing 7 year career. You were, and are one of my favorite bands that I have ever listened to. Your music was inspirational in my work as an artist. I was hoping of actually getting the opportunity to do a gigposter for you in the future.
Also I'm bummed I missed out on the fundraiser. As a poster designer I would have loved to do something to help you raise funds to recuperate your loses. Despite my lateness, I am interested in doing a limited edition art print and have the proceeds donated to Cursed. If your interested? Chris let me know and I can show you the design.
In final good fortune for your future endeavors fellas. Sincerely wishing you Chris, Mike, Christian, and Dan the best of luck. - Mike Munter

vegard said...

thanks for a great show in oslo, sad to hear about the bad times later on the tour:(

Anonymous said...

whatever happens happens. don't get to discouraged. maybe focus energy on other projects (i heard that one of you was writing a book).

left_hand said...

One of the worst news I've heard in a while. Thanks for being amazing, just picked III 12". You will be remembered.

much love and respect from Israel,
Tomer.

Anonymous said...

RIP one of the best bands in canadian hardcore. seriously an inspiration. if there is a final show someday, i don't care how far i have to travel to see it.

best of luck to all of you.

Anonymous said...

You guys are great. All I wanna say is to reconsider growing a pair and forge the fucken river.

Anonymous said...

If any of you guys are interested, Sam (who organized their european tour) has 25 screenprints left of the cursed III 15.75inch by 15.75 inch. If you want 1 you can order them through me (i offered sam to sell them because he's busy as hell) I still have to ask him for how much he wants to sell them! This is not a scam or anything. Chris has my emailaddress, so he can verify it and see it's for real. They will be up on ebay soon, not for ridiculous prices!!! Money will go directly to the band!! So chris please email me back with a paypal address etc etc.
Also have some pics left (how did our micronipple pic turned out??)

Anywho, my emailaddress is

juan_perez187@hotmail.com

my name is Willem

skin6walker said...

This is fucking shitty news and I wish there was something I could do. I'm wracking my brain trying to figure something out to show you how much I have appreciated your music. I'm a US soldier stationed in Korea, an 18 hour flight away from my wife and everything I know, and there aren't very many opportunities to vent my frustrations, but your music has definitely helped. I only wish I could have voiced my appreciation in person at a show, and hopefully I can sometime with future projects. Good luck to all of you, I genuinely hope for the best.

Critical Convictions said...

Hey guys,

My names Jeff. I'm one of many of your fans in Ottawa. I plan on organizing a benefit show with local hardcore and punk bands.

I'll keep in touch with you guys through here on your blog spot with the info and to make sure in the end the profits go towards you guys

Jeff

Jared said...

well that sucks.
but ive got to say ive thoroughly enjoyed everything ive been fortunate enough to experience thus far. i was hoping for a u.s. appearance, but i understand..

i hope for more cursed in the future even though ive given up hope for the future.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jari here, ex Warsawpacker, I really feel you guys on this type of frustration, no words can comfort
this scenario. I'm gonna miss this shit!

Anonymous said...

Guys, although I understand how much you must be overwhelmed, I still hope you'll change your mind. Don't let this goddamn fate take you down.

I wish I had been able to organise a show or something, but I don't think I will, and it's fucking frustrating. I'll still try to do something.

I know that it may sound easy to say, but it's not. I don't wanna tell my whole life on a blog, but in the last few months I've seen people disappearing forever or getting their life threatened, and that leads me to think that things are things, and although people can try to drag you down, proving yourself that you won't let them do it is the best thing you can do to begin with.

Sincerely wishing the best to one of the bands that I admire the most,

Arthur
From Paris, France

N.B. if you wanna contact me mail me at Arthur underscore dl at hotmail.com

Grindwerk said...

really sad news. I've seen the show in lyon and it was really amazing.
I made a short trip with my wife from hometown zurich to lyon to see you guys on stage at my birthday :-) we stayed there 3 days. It was so cool and then ...
... too bad to hear that this tour has ended this way ...

Anonymous said...

the best canadian band can't be dead!! at least make a goodbye show!! we will miss cursed a lot!